I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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