If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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