so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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