I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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