Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
