Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
