Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
