i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
