Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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