You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
