Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
