We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
