Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
