She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I want her autograph on my taint
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
