I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
