I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
