You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
