Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
