So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
So much Jack, so little girl.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
