thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
