Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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