I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
