Screwed.edu
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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