i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
