thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
