if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
