That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
