I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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