the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
