I heard we made out
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
