you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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