Its about making memories worth repressing
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
sex in a hospital.. check
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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