next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
