Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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