yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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