Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
