There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
