Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
