no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
