absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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