Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
