the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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