did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
