I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
