dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize