maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Two words: blizzard sex
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
