I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
