great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
