just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
