their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
