how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
